Are you attracted to girls who seek out attention, yet tire of the drama after you have had your third fight of the week? Do you want someone who is ruthless in her professional and personal life, yet find it frustrating that she always seems to get what she wants? If you are struggling to find someone special, it might be because you are looking for the wrong sort of girl, and if you want to change this, you need to change your criteria. If you are looking for someone to spend time with, or someone to spend the rest of your life with, it helps to start out by determining which qualities are important to you and then change the way that you go about looking for her.
Someone Who Is Confident
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Many guys enjoy “being there” for their partners, and every now and again, they like being the hero, but this isn’t something that should happen on a 24/7 basis. As Alexandra Churchill puts it;
…nothing is sexier than a woman who’s comfortable in her own skin.
Confidence is important because it doesn’t only give someone the chance to appreciate who they are, it actually allows them to lead more fulfilling lives. If your girlfriend is constantly going to be questioning every step that she makes, eventually, she might start questioning all of her choices, and that includes you. In the end, you can only do so much to boost someone’s confidence; they need to believe in themselves too.
Is She Intelligent?
A pretty girl can only offer so much; eventually you might find that you start getting very bored with spending time with her if she has nothing else to discuss other than the outfit she is wearing. You don’t need to go looking for a rocket scientist just so that you can have a companion that is comfortable being involved in discussions with you, but you do need to look for someone who can challenge you on an intellectual level, whatever that level might be.
Is She Independent?
It might make you feel like a man when you are paying for dinner after your first date, but what happens after a few weeks of dating when you find that the woman you are interested in simply can’t take care of herself and needs you looking over her shoulder every five minutes? As Jason Wilson explains;
Men want a woman with her own life, her own friends and her own aspirations. A woman who can handle herself, both emotionally and financially, is a huge turn on.
Some men (and women) tend to be perpetually attracted to those in need of “fixing”, and while this might be appealing at the start, the novelty quickly wears down and what you have left is someone that is constantly in need of help, with no sign that they will ever be able to stand on their own two feet. Look for someone who wants to be with you because they want to, not because they need you to cover their rent.
Someone Who Laughs At Your Jokes
People tend to underestimate the importance of laughter in a relationship. If you aren’t having a good time with your partner, what is the point of spending time with them at all? You should have a good idea about whether or not she finds you funny after the first couple of dates, and if the answer is no (or if you don’t find her fun), simply give it up as a bad choice and go and find someone who will giggle when you bring out your best stuff.
Is She Spontaneous?
Having fun isn’t just about enjoying each other’s company; it is about seizing the moment and making the most of it. Francesca Di Meglio explains why this is so important;
One of the first things to go in a relationship is the spontaneity. You get stuck in your Friday night dinner dates and you lose that spark you had when you first started dating each other.
If she isn’t spontaneous to begin with, the spark will have fizzled out to begin with. Picking someone who is spontaneous doesn’t mean that you should pick someone who is willing to sell their house and move to Mexico with you ten minutes after meeting (this, in fact, could be a sign that you need to run, and fast), but it does mean that she should be up for trying new things.
Is She Attracted To You?
If a woman is constantly making up excuses not to touch you, it is important that you get the message and walk away, otherwise you could end up wasting your time on a relationship dead end. Relationships are built on many things, and one of them is attraction; this is so important, in fact, that many relationships fail because this fizzles out after a couple of years. If you want a passionate love affair, the last thing you will want to do is invest your time and energy into a relationship that is lukewarm; you can prevent this by taking the hints from the beginning.
Is She Easy To Talk To?
Those who haven’t been in a relationship before might not be aware of this, but your romantic partner very quickly becomes one of your best friends (if not your best friend) and so they should be easy to talk to. If you find it very difficult to share with her, even from the start, this might not change further down the line. You probably aren’t going to want to divulge every family secret to her from the moment you meet, but you will want to start feeling comfortable enough to share things about yourself after a couple of dates and if this isn’t the case, move on.
Looking for the right person starts with knowing what you should be looking for, and the more specific you are about what you want and what you don’t want, the better position you will be in to find that special someone.
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