We all know how important self-esteem is in our lives, but many of us simply don’t have enough of it. This can send us in a downward spiral of a self-fulfilling prophecy. We feel unworthy, therefore behave unworthy, and find ourselves ignored or denied, which reaffirms to us that we are unworthy. Building self-esteem can seem incredibly difficult and many people go through years of therapy in order to improve. This, in turn, makes those of us who don’t have the financial means to afford years of therapy, feel as if our self-esteem will never become any better, leaving us resigned to the fact that we will never get anywhere in life. However, there are plenty of exercises you can do yourself, without the need of a therapist, that will make a huge difference to your self-esteem.
Self-Collage
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Getting creative is always a great way to boost self-esteem. The problem with creativity, however, particularly for those with low self-esteem, is that they don’t feel creative enough. Perhaps they feel as if their drawings are on par with those of a two year old, or perhaps they feel as if they can never get the inspiration needed to draw anything. However, a self-collage requires neither inspiration nor an artistic flare. All it requires is a few magazines, a large piece of paper, some scissors and some glue.
Using pictures, words, or symbols clipped from magazines that represent things they enjoy doing or own, places they’ve been, people they admire, or careers they desire, my students create a collage.
This collage will show the amazing things people have already achieved, giving them a visual representation of how special and great they actually are. It is also possible to give people two identical magazines to work with, and create one collage of how they see themselves and one collage of how they would like to see themselves. Because they have to use the same magazine for the two collages, they will often find that quite a few things about themselves are already exactly as they are.
Doing Something for Someone Else
They say there is no such thing as a truly selfless act. This is because whenever we do something for someone or something else, their gratitude affects us positively. This doesn’t mean we are intrinsically selfish beings, it is just an incentive to do something nice for other people. Since we know that doing something for someone else makes us feel good, why not do more of it?
Smile at someone who looks sad. Say a few kind words to the check-out cashier. Help your spouse with an unpleasant chore. Take a meal to a friend who is sick. Send a card to an acquaintance. Volunteer for a worthy organization.
These are all easy things that anybody can do and the rewards you receive are tremendous. Another thing to think about is trying to identify why you feel so unworthy about yourself. Once you identify that, you could start to be supportive of other people who have gone through the same. Perhaps you were bullied as a child, abused, ill, overweight, or perhaps you still are any of those things. There are others out there like you and you can reach them and help them. Join an online forum, which will allow you to remain completely anonymous as well. Seeing how your experiences haven’t made you a bad person, but rather a person that can help others will greatly improve your self-esteem.
Surround Yourself with Positive People
If you have low self-esteem, you will probably be seriously irritated by those people that seem to have such a positive outlook on life. You may find yourself annoyed with them, see them as naive and as if they have lost grip on reality. What you are actually feeling is a form of jealousy. You wonder, subconsciously, why they are so happy with everything, when you so clearly are not. When you realize this, you can start to spend time with positive people and see them in a positive light.
Attitudes are catchy. Whether they’re positive or negative, they’re rubbing off on you. Enjoy the company of these people, ask them questions,… look to learn. This is a natural and fun way to boost self esteem, each and every week.
Once again, this is an activity that costs absolutely nothing and it potentially puts you in a position where you start to appreciate your own skills as well. Perhaps there is someone in that group who recognizes that you have something unique to give, which will reaffirm to you that you are special and important as well.
Set Yourself a Challenge
You must, as much as possible, challenge yourself.
Set yourself a challenge that you can realistically achieve, and then go for it! For example, take up yoga, learn to sing, or cook for a small dinner party at your apartment or house.
Start with something small, something that you feel reasonably confident about that you will make it, but don’t make it too easy. For instance, if you struggle dealing with social situations, ask a friend to go for a coffee in a cafe. Don’t, on the other hands, start by throwing a party for 100 people. It is about being realistic, and pushing your limits further and further. Start with that coffee, turn that into a dinner and end with an actual party. Slowly but surely, you will be able to see that you are capable of achieving things, capable of doing all that you want to do. Achieving each and every goal will give you a huge boost in self-esteem, as you learn that you aren’t as incapable as you thought you were.
One last tip is to make an affirmation board. Stick pictures all over it of things you want to do and achieve and put the board somewhere visible. That way, whenever you walk past it, you will have an idea of what you need and want to do, and how far you have already come in terms of achieving those things.
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