How many of us have been in a situation where, after much hard work, we have finally managed to land a date. We prepare ourselves, get groomed and think of some great conversation topics. We show up on time, behave like a gentleman and generally have a pleasant evening. Going home afterwards feeling like this girl might just be the one, we suddenly find out that those feelings aren’t at all mutual and we have to start all over again. This can be baffling, because, in our eyes, we have done everything right. Or haven’t we? Let’s take a look at some of the most common dating mistakes men make that send women running in the opposite direction.
1 – Appearing Bored
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Men forget that women have far more active brains. While you are still busy looking at how nice her hair moves in the wind, she has already analyzed you from head to toe, taking into consideration your tone of voice and body language. If there is anything that you have said that makes her feel that you are bored, you will have failed at your date. As men, we will do all we can to make sure that we don’t show boredom with the date, but women look for other signs as well. Perhaps you are bored with your job or bored with life in general.
You must enter her life like a storm and leave a lasting impression so powerful, even if you’re not together forever, she will always remember and appreciate you having made a pit stop.
If there is anything in your life you are bored with, leave it at home and don’t show her it. Steer the conversation away from those topics if she asks and show enthusiasm in everything you do. However, don’t go over the top either, you don’t want her to think you are on some sort of high. Finding a balance is always the most important thing.
2 – Being the Tough Guy
For some reason, us men think that when women want a “manly man”, they mean someone who is led only by testosterone. We show off our physical strength, talk about fights we have been involved in or generally make a huge fool of ourselves. Yes, women want a manly man, but that doesn’t mean they want a tough guy.
Oh, you have muscles and testosterone? We never noticed. No, really c’mon guys– girls know it, you know it, and other guys know it. You’re a man, grrrrrr. So why do some guys start stupid, unnecessary scuffles (“Come at my bro”)? News flash– fights just make us scared, not impressed. So just play it cool and save everyone the stress.
Women do not like violence. Yes, they want to feel protected, but that doesn’t mean that you have to show her you can fight. In fact, that is a major turn off.
3 – Being Too Available
After a first date, if you sense you both like each other, it will be time to get together for a next date. This is a difficult line for us men to tread.
You need to find the time that works for you both. If your calendar is too open, you are too available. A woman wants to date a guy that has other things going on in his life. So even if you have to lie, act busy sometimes. Make her want you.
Again, however, it is about balance. On the one hand, she needs to see that you want to meet her again. But on the other hand, if you are always available, you have no social life and are simply looking for a crutch. Women love balance and it is the one thing us men seem to really struggle with unfortunately.
4 – Over Grooming
Women like it when their man looks good. However, you can go too far in that as well.
When your eyebrows are more perfectly shaped than ours, we begin to question your sexuality. We all know men like to take care of themselves, but it doesn’t have to go much further than a shower and a shave. If you spend an hour gelling your hair to make it stand perfectly so, chances are you’re wearing too much gel and caring way too much about what’s in the mirror.
This seems very contradictory, because women will readily admit that they spend hours getting ready themselves. However, that is something that women feel they own. Men should not do the same, because it takes away some of their manliness. And you can guarantee that she will wonder whether you are homosexual if you show up perfectly groomed, which is definitely not a good way to start a date.
5 – Focusing too Much on Her Looks
A woman wants to know that you have noticed that she looks nice and has made an effort. However, a single compliment will generally suffice, or perhaps you can add a second one later on in the evening. If you continue to talk about how nice she looks she will see you as shallow and not interested in her as a person and her ideas or life philosophies.
Yes, men are more visual than woman and this often gets us into trouble. Our mind wanders and we become tempted to have sex. For some of us, we want the sex and not the relationship. Thus, a grown boy will fake a relationship for the sex.
Even if you hadn’t thought o fit that way yourself, that is generally what it comes down too. Compliment her too much and you are demonstrating that you are physically attracted to her. Although that gives her a good feeling, she wants to know you are mentally attracted to her more than anything.
Remember that everything is about balance. You have to be confidence, but have a vulnerable side. You have to look good, but not be obsessed with your appearance. You have to be manly, but in touch with your feminine side at the same time. Getting this right takes time and practice, but you can do it.
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