Body language is hugely important. A few decades ago, a scientist suggested that only 8% of our communication is verbal, the rest being tone and body language. This study has now largely been discredited, as the participants were all autistic children, but the truth is that a large part of our communication is indeed non-verbal. Understanding body language and being able to read certain signs is always useful, both at home and at work. Perhaps you are entering the dating game and want to know what your date’s body language is actually telling you for instance. Let’s take a look at some of the most important factors for you to look at.
She Likes You
What you probably want to see if you are on a date is signs that your date is enjoying herself and likes you. That is, if you like her too of course. There are a number of things you should look out for to determine what her initial feelings for you actually are.
The neck is one of the most erogenous parts of the human body, and touching it is a great way to get a guy’s attention. […] Men are apparently attracted to smooth and soft skin, so this is a great way for her to try to get your attention. So, it’s a good thing if she’s touching her neck.
Besides the neck, she may also have diluted pupils (this is very hard to spot, as it is a minute change that can also be affected by ambient lighting). Furthermore, she may lean in towards you in conversation (make sure this isn’t because of high noise levels), or she may touch you (she may also be a kinetic individual, however). Lastly, if she keeps her legs crossed, she is not actually assuming a closed position, but rather a comfortable position.
She’s Flirting
What about if it’s a little bit more than a little bit of a like? What if she is actually flirting with you? It is at this point that you will be able to make decisions in terms of where you want your relationships to go, so knowing how to recognize whether she is flirting is incredibly important.
The art of flirting is expressed with gestures and subtle actions – also known as body language. Non-verbal communication is often more important than words. This artful dance makes it possible for strangers to become comfortable with each other, even at their first exchange of words. People become at ease with others when they find the other person pleasant. People appear pleasant as a result of showing interest in others via their body language cues. (I like you, because you appear to like me.) Some body language (physical actions expressing inner emotions or thoughts) is universal among us and other mammals.
She’s Dumping You
This is the one that you obviously don’t want to see. However, the only thing worse about getting dumped is getting dumped and not seeing it coming at all. There will be certain signs that should tell you to prepare yourself, so that if she does dump you, you will be able to walk away with your head held high.
If you lean in for a passionate kiss just to receive a short peck whereas she used to lip-hump you until you saw stars, then it’s a good bet that she doesn’t feel the same.
Other signs include her adopting a poor posture whenever she is with you, keeping a larger than normal physical distance between you and if she stops making eye contact. If she keeps being turned away from you, that is generally not a good sign either, nor is a situation in which she only wants to give you quick and awkward hugs.
She’s Cheating
If your lover is unfaithful, you need to know and for various reasons. First of all, no man should be a doormat that can get used and tossed aside at the whim of somebody else. Secondly, if she has sexual relationships with someone else, you have to know. Luckily for you, there are a number of telltale signs to look out for.
Your partner/spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend maybe looking down as he/she is talking to you – a possible sign of guilt.
Other signs include shifty eyes, when she tries to avoid your gaze. Also not good is when she starts to hide her hands when you are in conversation or they may blush if you speak about infidelity. You must know that a good relationships is built on trust. If that trust isn’t there, even if it should be, there is something wrong in the relationship as a whole.
Your Own Body Language
There is one very important thing that you have to keep in mind: if you are able to learn about reading body language, so is she. Your own body language, therefore, is just as important. It is very difficult to avoid expressing your true feelings in your body language, nor should you really attempt to. However, if showing your true feelings would be downright rude, there is something to be said for trying to avoid showing it. Recoiling in shock horror as you see a spot on your blind date’s nose, for instance, is not acceptable behavior. There are also a few things that we do that don’t necessarily mean anything, but that make us leave a very bad impression.
Most of them are reflexive in nature, automatically matching up to what our minds are thinking at any given moment. Nevertheless, with the right information and a little practice, we can train ourselves to overcome most of our negative body language habits.
Hence, try not to keep glancing at your watch (a nervous habit) or picking your nails (a dirty habit). Don’t hold objects in front of your body (like a briefcase), as this shows defensiveness and makes you look ill at ease. Don’t narrow your eyes, as she will feel as if you are distrustful of her. Last but not least, don’t pick lint (real or imaginary) of yourself or her, this makes you look pompous and bored.
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