In your head you have a movie playing of how you meet the girl, ask her out, take her out, take her home and spend a night of unbridled passion that comes just marginally short of earth shattering. The next night leads to passion that is earth shaking and the third to passion that is on a scale that makes the big bang sound like a fire cracker (a small one). Don’t deny it every man has a similar movie in his head. There may be slight variations but on the whole it’s a very similar script.
Of course, you are the leading man in your movie. You are cool, witty and sophisticated; you take repartee to levels that mere mortals only dream of. Your dress sense is impeccable; your choice of restaurant faultless and the way you dance leaves your girl believing that she has not just met Mr Right: she’s met Mr Perfect.
The reality is very far from this, of course. Okay, you’ve stumbled through the first part of the exercise: you’ve managed to ask a girl out, she’s said yes and she doesn’t, at this moment in time, think you are a just a tad further along the evolutionary scale than Homo Erectus. But there’s plenty of time for you to change her mind about that.
So, how are you going to negotiate the first date and still leave the potential love of your life with the initial favorable impression you’ve created. Here are a few tips to help you.
What to Wear
Let’s face it; this question has worried you, hasn’t it? You’ve probably got no idea what you are going to wear. First of all, let’s just emphasize why it’s important to get things right. As theartofmanliness.com puts it:
The right clothing can exaggerate healthy masculine traits – Clothing like a sports jacket can exaggerate masculine features such as square lines in the face, broad shoulders, muscular chest, smaller stomach than upper torso. These are all things women are subconsciously attracted to…
However, it’s much more than just emphasizing your masculine traits. It’s a matter of emphasizing those traits by wearing what is appropriate for the environment that you will be in. I know what you’re thinking: how does that help? Let me continue.
If you were going to an opera, let’s say at Covent Garden in London or the New York Met, you wouldn’t wear a T shirt and jeans would you, however much they may enhance your masculine traits? Or would you? Conversely, if you were going bowling you wouldn’t wear a tuxedo. If you would wear a tuxedo to go bowling you might want to seek help from sources other than this highly informative article.
Look here’s what to do. There are two ways to solve your problem. The first way, is to choose a venue and then buy the clothes to match it. The second way, is to choose the clothes (IE look in your wardrobe, or on the floor) and then choose the venue that is suitable for the clothes that you have. If both of those solutions are beyond you then I doubt there is going to be a second date.
Turn Up on Time
I know this one has been causing trouble for you as well. I’ll bet you’ve gone through every possible permutation of how things might go: you’re early and she’s early; your late she’s late; she’s late you’re early; she’s early you’re late…
Centuries ago before human beings had invented the clock things were very different. We got up when it was light; worked until it was dark and slept until it was light again. The options were quite limited. Then we invented methods for measuring time. We now measure everything by the clock: because we can. And because we can we should keep our deadlines: so the simple answer is: you both turn up on time. That of course can be complicated by the next tip I’m going to give you;
Where Do You Meet?
The easiest thing is that you go and pick her up from her place: on time. Of course, she may not be ready, but that doesn’t matter because you’re on time and that’s all you need to worry about. Where it gets complicated is if she doesn’t want you to pick her up from where she lives. I shouldn’t ask her why you can’t pick her up at her place just at this stage in the relationship (unless you’ve asked that already, of course). She has her reasons: neighbors will talk, parents will grill you, flat mate has questionable habits, boyfriend, more than one boyfriend, strange friends, no friends; it doesn’t matter what the reason is at this stage.
If you have to meet somewhere other than at her place here is a voice of reason: Elizabeth Yun states:
If you want to impress her, don’t make her sit alone at a bar waiting for you. This will also give you ample opportunity to situate yourself somewhere you feel comfortable. Chances are, this date is just as nerve-wracking for her as it is for you…
Here are some general advice about cell-phones and dining from the nydailynews.com:
Do be a good dining companion. No one wants to be a captive audience to a third-party cellphone conversation, or to sit in silence while their dining companion texts with someone. Always silence and store your phone before being seated. Never put your cellphone on the table.
Now when it comes to dining and dates, or when it comes to dates without the dining, especially when it comes to first dates, keep your cell-phone out of sight. It’s probably too much to ask that you leave it at home (okay it might come in useful to call a taxi). Just think how you would feel if she keeps checking her cell-phone every few minutes.
You may think it looks impressive when you answer your ‘phone at 10.00 pm and speak with your boss. You may score points with your boss; but not with your date. If you can’t go a whole evening without your ‘phone with someone you’ve gone out with for the first time just how much can she look forward to the second date? Actually, there’s probably no second date.
Now the advice contained above will not guarantee to turn your first date from one of despair to one in paradise and it certainly won’t guarantee that you enjoy post-date transports of passion on the scale of the big bang (your only transport may be a taxi that you can call on your cell-phone). It might, however, help you achieve your next goal: a second date.