Flirting is not so much a science, but more of an art. Many people feel they either have it, or they don’t, and it has even become somewhat of a personality trait. Some men (and women) are described as “flirts” for instance. Flirting is very important, however, because it allows you to measure how a woman would respond to your advances and whether there is any chance of her becoming interested in something a little bit more steamy or serious. Because flirting is often described as “harmless” and “fun”, it offers the perfect opportunity to test the water. However, do it wrong and you are no longer flirting but simply coming on to her, and you will be far more likely to get turned down. Here are some useful tips on how to flirt with women successfully.
Get Caught Looking
If you are not yet on speaking terms with the object of your desire, make sure she catches you looking.
Most people look away when the object of their desire looks at them. If you want to let that person know you are interested, when she catches you looking, smile, hold eye contact a moment longer, then look away.
Getting the length of time right is the hardest thing you will need to do. Look too long, and you are being presumptuous and she will feel uncomfortable. Don’t look long enough and she will wonder whether you were looking at all. It may seem that you can just try again at that point, but if this happens again and again, you will soon move into the annoying her phase as well. Test it with some friends if you can to see what an acceptable length of time is before you look away.
Be Cocky and Funny
At some point, you will have done all the looking you can. Perhaps you have gone so far as adding a little smile and even a wink, which are great tools for someone who is a flirt. But, the moment will come when you will have to make your move and taking flirting to the next level. Women tend to keep little notebooks with the most ridiculous pick-up lines they have ever heard. What you, as a man, need to realize, is that it is not about what you say, but rather about how you say it.
If you start talking to a woman and say, “Hi, you’re very pretty. You probably have a boyfriend, right?” in a normal tone of voice, you’re NOT flirting. On the other hand, if you say, “Hi, I realize that you’re probably shy because you get absolutely no attention from men… so I thought I’d come over here and pay a little attention to you…” it’s OBVIOUS that you’re setting a tone that’s not serious.
This is what it means to be cocky and funny at the same time. What you are saying could be perceived as insulting, but it won’t be, because you deliver it in the right tone of voice and as a good joke.
Keeping up being cocky and funny may be a little bit hard, but you must practice at it. The game of flirting can go on for quite some time and you must hold that attitude for the entire time until it becomes clear that you can take things to the next level, or until it is clear that you – or she – isn’t interested at all. Remember that practice makes perfect and you shouldn’t give up just because you don’t strike lucky straight away. However, you may want to practice somewhere that isn’t your own local drinking hole for a while.
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