They say that what matters most is how you see yourself. However, many of us struggle to see ourselves in any sort of positive light. We think ourselves not beautiful, not thin enough, not smart enough or not rich enough. We don’t have a big enough house, nice enough job, good enough car or not well behaved enough children. Unfortunately, once we get into a negative mind set, we drag ourselves down more and more and our self-esteem starts to need a real boost. This is all due to what is known as the “law of the universe”. Bets explained by Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret
The Law of Attraction. Whatever you send out of positive thoughts to the Universe comes back to you, ten fold at least.
Here are four fantastic ways to help you boost your self-esteem once and for all.
1 – Know You Are Desirable
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You are someone that is not just needed by also wanted. You are more than just a single item. At the same time, you have to understand that you aren’t perfect, as there is no such thing as negativity. Best explained by Psychology Today
Don’t let any one particular shortcoming negate that you are a complex, multifaceted desirable package.
It is your job to see exactly who you are and how that makes you valuable. Imagine yourself with a huge smile, or even take a picture and stick it somewhere you will regularly see it, such as your bathroom mirror. This way, whenever you see your own smile, you can take the time out to remember why you have earned that smile and why the world will always smile back at you.
2 – Make an Inventory
Staying on the subject of recognizing your own strengths and weaknesses – as this is what self esteem is all about – why not make an inventory of yourself? Called a “self esteem inventory” by Psych Central, it basically involves
Get a piece of paper. Draw a line down the middle of it. On the right-hand side, write: “Strengths” and on the left-hand side, write: “Weaknesses.” List 10 of each. Yes, 10. That may seem like a lot of the Strengths side if you suffer from poor self-esteem, but force yourself to find all 10.
People struggle with this. They feel it is big headed to give themselves 10 clear compliments. However, remember that you are also going to write down your 10 biggest weaknesses. If you do suffer from low self esteem, you may find it very easy to write down your weaknesses, easily getting to ten if not more, but you may truly struggle to get to the ten strengths. Take your time to think back at things people have said to you. Perhaps someone has appreciated your shoes once, this could mean you have a good style and perhaps you are even good at finding excellent bargains. Nobody never receives compliments, as simple or insignificant as they may be, so sit down and think back at which ones you have received.
Once you have completed it, you have your own self esteem inventory. This will tell you just how much you struggle, but also just how great you are. It is about having a realistic picture of yourself, rather than getting stuck wallowing in self-pity.
3 – Be Kind and Generous
Being kind and generous is good for your self esteem and good for the world. You have to be generous not just to yourself, but also to others. You will appreciate it, and others will appreciate it too. This, in turn, will lead to new compliments to add to your self esteem inventory as well, thereby increasing your confidence. Not just that, according to Zen Habits
You start to feel good about yourself, and to think that you are a good person. It does wonders for your self-confidence.
Besides this, doing something good for the world is very important. Too many people think they are just one person, but they forget about the ripple effect. Being nice to someone, as they say, may not change the world, but it may just change their world – as well as your own.
4 – Eradicate Thought Processes that Bring Down your Self Esteem
Building your self-esteem is as much about being positive about yourself as it is about recognizing your own negative thought processes. The Mayo Clinic explains that you have to challenge negative thoughts.
Your initial thoughts might not be the only possible way to view a situation — so test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether other explanations for the situation might be plausible.
In order to do this, you have to recognize what sort of things you do that could be classed as negative thinking. These include thinking all or nothing (or black and white) and missing opportunities that lie in between, as well as forgetting to filter mental processes. As humans, we have a tendency to dwell on the negative qualities of people or situations, leading to avoiding those in future and missing out on all the positives they could bring us. Too many of us also turn positive experiences into negatives. This is the “yes but” situation, where we feel there is never a silver lining when it comes to our own achievements. Also, we are too quick to jump to negative conclusions. For instance, if someone hasn’t phoned us, we believe it is because we have done something wrong, rather than thinking of the thousands of other possibilities. We also have to understand that feelings and facts are too very different things. Feelings and processes and they are distorted – more so even than what memories are, and just because we feel a certain way does not make it so, particularly if it is negative. Lastly, we are too quick to put ourselves down, often to keep the peace. Stop these negative habits and you will see your self-confidence grow very quickly.
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