Information today is readily available at every turn. Ask a question and chances are with just a few strokes on your keyboard you’ll instantly get thousands of answers. The problem is that those answers often contradict themselves so you soon find yourself in a quandary trying to decide which answers are applicable to your situation. This is also true of relationships; trying to decide how a man should act when he is involved in a relationship is extremely difficult.
Some might say, you need to be a carefree little boy while others may suggest that you have to be a player and work your magic. The bottom line is that if you are serious about a dating relationship then you need to know what it takes to be a real man, and the media is not always the best place to get your answers. Notice what Elliott Katz explains about this for AISH.com,
On television, we’ve gone from Father Knows Best, where the father was a wise caring man who could do no wrong, to Homer Simpson, a buffoon who can do nothing right.
You might find that you are somewhere in the middle when it comes to relationships. Still, there is no hard and fast rule that says that every man must act a certain way in a relationship. There must be allowances for personality, abilities, and personal interests. However, there are some actions that a real man should always consider when they are in a relationship.
Step Up to the Plate
If you’re not already in a relationship then it is the perfect time to put your manliness into practice. Think a little about what you really need in a relationship and then take steps to go and find it. If you’re into sports you’re not likely to enjoy the company of someone who hates it and doesn’t appreciate you being glued to the TV set every night. Look for someone who can at least appreciate what you value even if she doesn’t cherish it herself.
Too often, men find themselves in relationships where women are constantly nagging them about how much time they spend watching football or going to sports events. This is most often because either she has put on pretenses to get into the relationship or he has not spoken up about how important it is to him. Whatever your passion is make sure that she understands it and that she can respect that part of your life. Give some thought to your personal needs and what you value before you jump head on into a long-term relationship. Of course, there should be room for flexibility; no woman wants to be in a relationship where she has to make all the sacrifices and he gives up nothing. You just need to know yourself how much you’re willing to give up to keep the relationship going.
Learn How to Lead
A real man knows how to take the lead in a relationship without making the woman feel like she’s a lesser being. This does not mean that he has to put on a macho persona that takes on a dominating role in the relationship. On the contrary, being a leader requires a bit more finesse than a show of brute force. In order to lead in a relationship you must first understand what it means to be a leader. The role of a true leader in a relationship comes down to how Steve Woodruff of BrandImpact portrays it,
A real man knows who he is and doesn’t have to prove himself. A macho man is perpetually seeking to do so, and the means is aggressive, win-lose dominance (physically, verbally, sexually, whatever).
It is one thing to dominate a relationship and take control but that’s not leadership. There is a lot of controversy about men taking the lead and that it belittles and demeans women. In fact, when women are treated with respect and dignity, they will have no problem following a good leader. The problem is that men often confuse leadership with dominance and control; once you learn the qualities of a true leader then women will see that there is no threat to their own identity.
The most attractive part of a man has very little to do with what he wears or how he acts. While these things may attract a woman’s attention in the very beginning they will not keep her attention if she discovers that he’s putting on a pretense. The truth is that you don’t need to put on a facade to get the attention of the right girl, you simply need to be the best version of yourself that you can be. As long as you’re appropriately dressed, bathed, and smell good you’ll most likely be OK. When you interact with her ask lots of questions, smile, laugh and talk about what you love and you’ll most likely get her attention. If she doesn’t want to engage with the real you, she’s not the right one for you and the pretense will only make matters worse. It’s time to move on.
While useful tips from an article on the Internet can give you a lot of insight into what things are good and appropriate they cannot possibly cover every situation. Every interaction and circumstance will have its own unique dynamics so it would be good to get some helpful advice from someone who can perhaps shed light on situations that you may not notice. This however, does not mean running to your male friends for their unique viewpoint on what you should do or think. Try talking to a woman to get a woman’s viewpoint. Take the advice of Grant Langston of eHarmony.com,
The easiest way to improve your dating skills is to take a female friend to lunch and talk her through your last date – your clothes, your venue choice, your conversation, your end of date approach. She will have opinions on all these things, and next time you’ll be better for it.
There’s no question that dating is one of those things that men are expected to automatically know how to do. They’re expected to jump into the fray with no real training or experience and most do not have a dating handbook to avoid the pitfalls. No one has all the answers and you’re likely to discover that you’ll make a few mistakes along the way. Don’t worry, it is a rite of passage to mess up on a date from time to time but with a little practice and a little faith, you’ll finally hit your stride and have many happy dating experiences to last you a lifetime.