Thousands of years of human evolution has led to human beings developing a very sophisticated tool that we call language. Think about what language has allowed us to achieve: the works of Shakespeare, space flight and organ transplants – to name just three things. Language also allows men to cause severe offense to women in less than the time it takes to say “yes, your bum does look big in that.”
It’s not entirely our fault, I know. Women are unpredictable and overly sensitive, a point articulated well by charlesflirts.com:
Women, it’s sometimes difficult to understand them. One moment they are so loving and coy that they make a man feel like a giant grizzly bear who should protect them from this big, bad world – and the next they are bored and spit venom at whatever you might say.
But let’s face it; we have to take some of the blame. When it comes to judging the feelings of others and how we might hurt them – particularly the feelings of women – we (that’s men in general) are not usually well endowed with that ability. So here are a few things you should never say to a woman – particularly a woman with whom you are hoping to develop a relationship that gets beyond the first date:
Never Say Anything Bad About Her Male Friends…
…even when they deserve it. I know it may be difficult for us to understand, being the blunt instruments that we are, why this should cause such an offense. However, when a woman takes a little bit of time to explain it to us it does sort of make sense – not complete sense, but sort of sense. This is how uk.askmen.com explains it (which explanation has clearly come from a woman):
One of the ways a woman marks a guy as “insecure”…is if he starts dissing her male friends, especially if he hasn’t met them and doesn’t know her very well…. Even if they are more than friends, you are only making yourself look like you are scared of competition….
I know what you are thinking: how does this make me appear insecure? You probably think it makes you appear like a typical alpha male: protective, manly and strong. I’m afraid we will just have to accept that we will never fully understand how the feminine mind works. My advice is that you are not disrespectful to the male friends of any woman you wish to impress. She will get upset; she will be offended; you won’t understand why – unless of course you recall this article.
I Love You Amanda…
…when her name is Angela. This is a tricky one, I admit, especially if you are not good with names, or you have a lot of girlfriends or both. The thing is that I can fully understand why a woman might get upset if you call her by the wrong name. I’m with the women on this one.
Our names are important to us. When a person uses our name in our company it is music to our ears. You must, at some time in your life, have had the experience of someone calling you by the wrong name. And how did that make you feel? Now just imagine it was the woman you are dating who gets your name wrong. If the offense this causes is something you are having difficulty appreciating, I think you’ll just have to accept that addressing a woman by the wrong name – especially if this is done at the peak of passion – is not going enhance the chances of your relationship with that woman being a long one.
Never Make Comments that Suggest Her Hair Is Anything But Perfect
This is another one of those feminine traits that men find hard to understand. You must have noticed how women can spend hours – quite literally hours – doing stuff to their hair and they are still unhappy with it. It is perfectly acceptable for a woman to tell you that her hair is a mess. It is never acceptable, or wise, to agree with her, or to take the initiative and tell her that her hair is a mess. When her hair does look bad you should heed the sage advice of Christina Jones:
I don’t have a personal stylist and six free hours in a day to make my hair look like I should be in a Pantene commercial. The day I have a bad hair day… should coincidentally be the same day you are having problems with your eyesight. You do NOT notice it.
Never Suggest that She Is Over-dressed
Just in case you missed the point: never, never, never suggest she is over-dressed. It may well be the case that you are going for a walk where there will be wet ground – mud even – uneven ground – hills to climb – and other natural hazards – mountains – for which high heels are not the most appropriate footwear. You may think that it is your duty to point out that she is likely harm herself severely. Do so, and it is you who are likely to end up harmed severely. My advice is to take with you plenty of food, warm clothing, shelter and a team of Sherpas. You can also alert the emergency services to expect a call from you.
Never Offer Her Advice that Has Come From Your Mom
I know you love your mom and that she is the source of everything that is wonderful. However, I really think that the astute relationship advice from Aunt Becky should be adhered to:
‘My mom thinks you should [insert behavior change here].’ We like that you’ve got a good relationship with your mom and all, but we don’t need to hear what she thinks we need to improve.
Your mom may well be right; your mom probably is right, but the woman you are dating is most unlikely to agree with you or your mom.
It is one of life’s facts that men will never fully understand women. When it comes to appreciating what we should and should not do and what we should and should not say it is always a good idea to listen to good advice. Usually the source of this advice is a woman. And usually we ignore it at our peril.