Most of the time when a woman is asked about the qualities that she looks for during the initial phases of dating the answer is self confidence. For women a confident man is a turn on and if you are lacking it then you could significantly be hurting your chances of finding the girl that you want. Even girls who aren’t confident themselves need a self confident man, perhaps even more so.
Don’t Fake Self Confidence
Some men try to fake self confidence knowing that they haven’t got real confidence and this can be a real turn off for women. They have a sixth sense about these things. So if you aren’t being genuine with them then forget it. Examples of fake self confidence are when you have to repeatedly go out of your way to show how great you are, or when you need to diminish the qualities of the people around you in order to make yourself feel better. Self confidence is not something specific, but instead it is a combination of things as a contributor for Ask Men suggests:
It’s a certain pep in your step. A way of walking. A contagious charisma. It’s seductive. It makes all people, not just women, gravitate toward a man and want to be around him, in the hopes of catching just a little bit of his energy.
True self confidence comes from believing in yourself which is why it cannot be faked, so if you don’t have it then perhaps before dating you need to take a look at yourself and figure out why you have low self-confidence.
Lack of Self Confidence Can Lead To a Build Up of Stress
When you aren’t confident about doing something then what happens is that stress relating to the task that you need to get done starts to build up and as a result doing that task becomes even harder. This downward spiral can be very difficult to overcome whilst dating if you don’t do anything about any confidence issues that you might be having. When going out on a date you need to show the girl your true self, including any good qualities that you have, but if you are a nervous wreck then it can be very difficult to do that.
How To Improve Confidence
The best way to improve dating confidence is to date as much as you possibly can. The more dates you go on the more comfortable you will be and as a result your self confidence will go up. Even if you have to make every dating mistake in the book to get to a place where you are comfortable with dating then do it because in the end it will be worth it. Another good way to improve your confidence is to basically give yourself more credit. Sometimes we can all be harsh on ourselves for no good reason at all. So examine if the critical voice at the back of your head really has any substance before listening to it. Finally, you must have fun with no expectations whilst on a date as a writer from Life 123 suggests:
If you take the pressure off yourself and your date by having no expectations, you’ll be never be disappointed, only pleasantly surprised.
Having high expectations can get you into a state where you don’t want to make a mistake and that in turn can make you have a low confidence level. Try to approach the date for what it is, which is an opportunity for two people to have fun together while getting to know one another better, and you will soon find your self confidence level going up.