Self esteem is incredibly important. Without it, you will find yourself quite stuck in life, unable to move forward and quite likely to slip lower and lower into what could even turn into depression. If you don’t think you are good enough, you will struggle to get a job and you will struggle to build meaningful relationships. If you constantly have an air of thinking that someone else is more deserving or worthy, you will quickly find yourself in a self-fulfilling
prophecy. However, as much as we all know this to be true, building self esteem is about more than just flicking a switch. So how do you build a healthy level of self esteem? Because having too much of it would make you appear quite arrogant and cocky.
1 Develop Your Values
In order to build a healthy level of self esteem, you have to know what your values are.
Values are subjective, because every single human being views life through his own subjective point of view. Every person’s point of view is unique and therefore every person’s set of values is unique. Our values are our compass in our lives.
If you have your own values and you live towards those with honesty and integrity, you can always hold your head up high and be proud of your achievements. If others then turn you down, you know that you would not have been compatible anyway, because it would mean their values would be in opposition to yours.
2. Stop the Comparison
One of the things that is so beautiful about you is that you are an individual. There is nobody else on this planet who is exactly like you. That is a huge achievement and something to be very proud of. Hence, you must stop trying to compare yourself to others, finding things that they are better at than you.
You need to stop comparing yourself to others. The only person you should be competing against is yourself. These comparisons are unfair because you don’t know as much as you think you do about these other people’s lives, or what it’s really like to be them. You think it’s better, but it may be 100 times worse than you can imagine.
Imagine, for instance, that somebody has more followers on Twitter than you. That doesn’t make them more popular. Perhaps they have added random people who they don’t know, because they are lonely. Or maybe you know somebody who has a higher position in an office than you. As attractive as this may seem, they may have had to sacrifice their family life for this, or perhaps they even have a substance abuse problem to keep them going. Everybody has negatives in their lives as well, and you shouldn’t focus on their positives and see them as something that is lacking in your own life.
3. Three Lists
In order to build self esteem, you have to write down three lists.
Make three lists: one of your strengths, one of your achievements, and one of the things that you admire about yourself. Try to get a friend or relative to help you with these lists. Keep the lists in a safe place and read through them regularly.
Do not make a list about the things you want to change or the negatives in your life. All you need to do is add to your lists as you go along. You could make a third list with things you want to achieve (getting a promotion, becoming a home owner, going on vacation and so on), but only if you are able to transfer these to one of your three original lists quite quickly.
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